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A theologian once said, "The Gospels cannot explain the resurrection. Only the resurrection can explain the Gospels." Do I know what actually happened? No. But something happened. Something happened that changed human hearts and human history ever since. And even if that something was nothing miraculous, the impact is still the same. What did Jesus believe? He talks about resurrection, but not all that much. His views seem the conventional ones of his day. He did care enough to argue with the Sadducees who didn’t believe in resurrection. They also didn’t believe in angels, but Jesus seems to have felt that after death, we are like angels. But these little debates, as Jesus clearly sees, aren’t about these issues; they are really about his opponents trying to trap Jesus. Many conversations today about the resurrection are, in fact, intellectual debates with other motives in mind. Like trapping each other.

What do I think? When you look right at the resurrection of Jesus, you don’t see anything, because there is nothing that can be seen. All you see is its impact. Whatever happened, it had an impact. The impact on Jesus was that he was somehow made fully alive and present to his disciples and many others, in spite of the apparent fact that he had suffered and died. We see the impact of the resurrection on mysteriously and inexplicably transformed lives – then and now. When someone says, then or now, "I have seen the Risen Christ", I take that seriously – whatever they may mean – literally, metaphorically, spiritually, psychologically. And I take it seriously when I see the factual reality of changed lives. When I think about the profound changes and awakenings and illuminations that have been given me in life, speaking for myself, I connect it directly with meeting God in the Risen Christ. Would I know the Risen Christ any better if he walked into my office and sat down across from me? Maybe. But I really don’t think so. I don’t need that. What could that Christ give me that I have not already been given?

The story of Mary meeting Jesus in the garden is a beautiful picture of the impact of the Risen Christ on one particular person’s life. Mary saw Jesus through her encounter with grief. When she finds the stone rolled away from the tomb, she stands there weeping. Looking inside she sees the angels and they ask her "Woman, why are you weeping?" She says because somebody took his body away. She turns around. There stands Jesus whom she supposes to be the gardener. And he asks her the very same question: "Woman, why are you weeping?" She repeats her answer. It is not just that they have taken his body, it is the total loss of Jesus. He is dead. She is grieving a profound loss. Life is loss, loss, loss, loss, loss. Birth itself is a loss – the loss of the comfort and security of the womb. And loss equals pain. As human beings we will do everything we can to avoid feeling pain. We will deny pain. We will minimize pain. But loss equals pain and life is repeated loss.

To her credit, Mary is honestly facing her pain. She is in grief. Grief is the personal, psychological, spiritual struggle to come to terms with the pain of loss. Look closely at this encounter and what Jesus does. First, he says, "What is the meaning of your tears?" In other words, he is asking her to name her loss. That is what God is saying to us each moment of our lives: name the loss, face the loss, do not minimize or ignore that loss. What loss, great or small, are you dealing with in your life right now? Think about that. Name it. Weep over it. Secondly, Jesus calls Mary by name. He says, in other words, "I am standing right here before you. I love you as I always did. I call you by name. I am with you." In our times of loss, especially when our eyes are filled with tears and our vision is downcast, Jesus is standing right in front of us and calling us by name. Just listen for your name. And look up. He is there. Not to take away the pain, but to be with you in the pain. And the third thing he says is, "Don’t cling to me. Let me go." What is this story showing us about grief? We must face loss and pain courageously and honestly. But grief allows us to fully let go. Facing loss is hard because we really fear that we will, in a sense, die too. We say in our hearts, "Because of this loss, my life will never be the same. Never. Never. Never." And that is true. The stronger the attachment, the deeper the loss, the more the pain. But, for me, and this is what resurrection means, the story doesn’t end there. The one whom Mary has lost is standing before her. The object of her attachment has been returned to her. He is alive. But now there is a difference. He is with her, but she cannot cling to him. "Do not hold me. Do not become attached to me. Let me go. And I will be with you." For now Jesus ascends to Heaven. But Jesus will return in a way in which his presence will be with you unmistakably, and you will know him and love him in such a way that you cannot and will not want to cling to him. "Be not afraid. I will be with you." I truly believe that our lost loved ones do return to us. They are a presence in our lives, and though we may never see them literally, we know they are there – loving us and receiving our love. Jim Burklo in his book Open Christianity writes this:

We need to get past the debate about whether or not Jesus physically rose from the dead. It is a useless exercise, a trivial pursuit, compared to the opportunity we have to experience the soul-truth of the resurrection.

Grief itself is resurrection. At the loss of someone we love, we are overwhelmed – possessed, really – by a life-force that is often beyond our conscious control. Waves of emotion surface unannounced; tears flow for no immediate reason. When somebody close to us dies, or when a precious relationship ends, it is as if a new kind of life rises from the dead inside us and takes us over for a while.

Grief is how new life comes to us. Grief is, at one and the same time, facing loss, and welcoming life. Perhaps it is wrong to even call it a process. Perhaps it is simply finding the courage to lift our heads and see God in the very midst of our suffering, in the very midst of our tears, and to know that all will be well. AMEN.

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