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‘Tis the season of Lent. ‘Tis the season of paying attention to things like repentance, taking responsibility for our relationships that are in some way broken. ‘Tis the season of seriously working the 4th and 5th Step of the 12 Step Recovery model – made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves; and admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Lent is a season which gives us reason to choose God over self. Simply put it is all about CHOOSING LIFE.

‘Tis the season of change. We allergy sufferers know something is in the wind. Spring is on the march. CCC is in a season of heightened change. We are always in motion but some motion is more disconcerting than others. Motion sickness, for some, is an apt consequence descriptor. “My church drives me nuts!” “Welcome to our faith community of PROCESS.”

I am in the process of change. CCC’s transition, Jim’s retirement, impacts us all. I can feel my workload building. Jim and Lois are on vacation. This particular absence has a different feel to it. It feels like a precursor of days to come. Our staff meetings miss him. Future event planning is less and less Jim inclusive. Pastoral care concerns, to which Jim has superbly attended, are shifting over to my plate. My ready reference to questions on pertinent history is leaving. My source of camaraderie, in house humor and empathy is retiring. I am understandably anxious, just like most of you are.

In this season of Lent, in this season of change, I am asking God for input.

There was this fig tree. For three years it had bore no fruit. Cut the thing down, it’s taking up valuable space. The gardener intercedes. “Let me work the soil a bit more. I’ll spread some manure around, the added nutrients may help. If there is no fruit next year, we can cut it down.”

What is Jesus saying? Is he putting humankind on probation? You have not been following God’s ways and commands. Let me stir a little more manure into your life and see if that stimulates some growth.

For some, this parable coming on the heels of a tale of many deaths, speaks a warning. God’s mercy is not open ended. Repent or else. Change your ways or be cut down. As Godspell preaches, “Turn back, O man, for swear thy foolish ways …”

For me, this season, the parable gives me an image. I am sitting alongside the barren fig tree, waiting. What am I expecting?  What am I looking for?

I am looking for reassurance that God is and that God cares. I am selfishly looking for confirmation that God cares about me.

I read from Isaiah’s prose, “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there until they have watered the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth shall not return to me empty…” This passage, talking about God’s nurturing the earth and each of us, is in fact, the Word I crave. Like melting snow seeping into the earth, God slowly saturates me with love. God is confident that this love will bear fruit.
God’s confidence buoys my own.

I am sitting alongside the fig tree being fed. What am I expecting to happen? Charlotte Bronte writes, “Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.”

John Lubbock says, “What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” This resonates strongly within me. As a pastor and person in these days at CCC, I am aware of the many lenses through which our life together is viewed. To listen to some, one would think the sky is falling. To others, “Anxiety? What anxiety?!” And I suppose, most of us are somewhere in between.

Let us each sit awhile by this metaphorical fig tree. What are you looking for? What is it that you need from God? The fig tree is barren. Does this help you tap into your own places of loss? How does past loss interface with our current transition, change and loss?
What are you expecting? Abandonment? New beginnings? Affirmation? Exhilarating, challenging growth?

Lent is a season in which we search to be transformed. It is choosing life and living to see the figs pop on the once barren tree. It is daring to look the past in the eye and say the present is where life begins. It is being knocked off balance and rising to our feet a different person. Repentance. In Classical New Testament Greek this word is metanoia.

We have come to understand, through various interpretations, the word and concept of metanoia as repentance; Repentance derived from penance. Metanoia’s change of mind meaning when applied to changing one’s evil or sinful ways, turns into repentance. Prior to this understanding, metanoia meant an all consuming change of mind. It was a radical revision and transformation of our entire mental process. God takes center place – in our consciousness and in our attitude. Mind boggling, if you will. A metanoia moment is being opened and being open to God’s grace. We become truer to ourselves in our closer union with God. If this isn’t transformation, I don’t know what is!

How do we get there? Befriending manure for one thing. Unpleasant situations and people can lead us to humility and wisdom. Being outside of our comfort zones is often a precursor to positive change. Recognizing or being open to recognizing the divine throughout all creation alters how we understand ourselves. Internalizing the invitation to live as one body of Christ, inter-connected not separate from one another, can be transformative.

Actually, the 12 Steps are a perfect Lenten devotion.

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admit it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening (metanoia) as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

‘Tis the season of Lent. A season to look the past in the eye and choose to live in the present.

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