Sunday, February 14, 1999

Rev. Dale Ostrander

" Remembering and Growing"

PSALM 71: 1-9, 14-18 (NRSV), 2 PETER 1 (CEV)

Thank you for inviting me to be with you this morning.

I want to talk about aging and the church’s important role in this stage of life.

My interest in gerontology and the process of aging arose out of my own movement into my 50's ten years ago, as well as experiencing that stage of life when we are increasingly dealing with the aging and deaths of family members and friends. And in my counseling practice I found myself dealing with more of these issues with clients who were going through their own mid and later life transitions and caring for aging parents.

And, like clockwork, AARP sent me an application for membership. Now, I like the perks that come with this, but I’m still somewhat hesitant about asking for certain discounts. Perhaps it’s a deja vu experience of the fear of being carded, or trying to decide what would be worse - they’re thinking I’m trying to get away with something, or they’re looking at me and thinking I really do look that old. And there’s no getting around it when you ask your doctor about that growing number of bumps and nubs showing up on your skin, and he tells you they are like barnacles, they come with aging!

I think most of us have at least some underlying fears about our own aging and what it will mean for us. And we try not to think or talk about it very much. It’s interesting that the studies of older adults report that they generally see and rate themselves more positively than they rate "the average older person." But, I think we do need to talk about it and recognize that besides it being a time of transition and change, adapting and coping, it also is an opportune time in our lives for reflection and further growth, for deepening and new purpose.

I think the scriptures this morning speak to both of these aspects of later life. The Psalm is a prayer for strength and support in that portentous time of old age. The epistle of 2nd Peter is an exhortation to faithfulness and growth and an appropriate word for our own time and culture.

It speaks to those of us in the church who are aging, and also as words of wisdom to those who will follow: Remember these things; keep learning more about God and our Lord Jesus; grow in goodness, understanding, patience, devotion and love.

The author of 2nd Peter was speaking to Christians in an alien and dismissive Hellenistic culture. We older adults also find ourselves living in a somewhat alien culture that in its individualism, competitiveness and materialism often misses the virtues of community. And in its nearsighted emphasis on staying young contributes to prevailing stereotypes of aging. Our culture tends to assign less value to later life, and the elderly often feel dismissed - even though eventually we’re all going to get there.

Now, this may be changing gradually as we find ourselves facing a remarkable and revolutionary social change in human history. The proportion of old to young is rapidly increasing, you and I can possibly count on living until 82, 92 or longer, and we can expect to spend nearly 20 to 25% of our lives in retirement. So, the question arises as to how we’re going to deal with this change, taking care of ourselves and our loved ones and looking out for each other as we grow older. It clearly is an intergenerational issue that we will need to face together. Certainly societal attitudes policies and social programs will be important in addressing this, but I want to focus today on the church’s role.

David Maitland wrote a book called Aging as Counterculture. "Counterculture," now, that certainly is a word that came to us out of the baby boom generation, didn’t it! In his book, Maitland speaks of the uniqueness of the church’s role in our society, describing it as a community of "support and defiance." That sounds like the UCC! This means that it’s a community where people are present to one another and care for one another. It’s also a community, he says, that defies evil, recognizing cultural idolatries and illusions and engaging in social criticism. It insists on the sacredness and interrelatedness of all of life, and it calls us to live in relationship. Maitland speaks specifically of aging as countercultural - an opportunity to step outside of the lures and diversions of the system by which we have been defined, to recognize the provisional nature of things and be freer to report what we see. We are people God can use in the midst of such a culture!

Paul Tournier, a Swiss psychiatrist and a Christian thinker also speaks of our later years as a time of liberation, moving from being prisoners of duty into new learning and new options, growing in love - into a wider scope of caring and compassion. It’s a time for deeper wisdom and spirituality and coming to know even more clearly that we are part of something larger than ourselves and can contribute something to the ongoingness of life. Knowing this helps us to affirm our lives, or, in the words of 2nd Peter, if we grow in this way our lives will be useful and meaningful, we will not stumble and fall, and we will know the kingdom of God.

The epistle goes on to say that no one alone can understand these things. People don’t come to this truth by themselves. David Maitland says that you don’t find meaning in isolation. The Church is unique in our society in calling us to community and in pursuing that kind of meaning. Life is not easy. We need one another, and we need this sense of meaning and purpose to transform living into something more than an exercise in endurance.

So, the Church needs to prepare for this aging society, recognizing both the needs and the potential of the growing number of older adults in its midst. And for these older persons, later life can be a special time for remembering and growing, sharing and serving. The church community can help us elders to age well and make the most of this stage of our lives. And as we all, young and old, engage in our mutual ministry to one another, our older members have a wealth of life experience and wisdom to bring as the church envisions and moves into its future.

Speaking of passing on wisdom, Socrates said it well in The Republic: "I consider the old, who have gone before us, along a road which we must all travel in our turn. And it is good that we should ask them of the nature of that road." Of course, we also need to keep in mind the words from that 17th Century Nun’s Prayer: "God, thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older and will someday be old . . . With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, but thou knowest, God, that I want a few friends left at the end."

What is needed that assists persons in this process of growing older and aging well? What is needed are environments that recognize and affirm people; environments that provide opportunities for reflection and sharing, and for finding new purpose through contribution and service.

I think the Church at its best is this kind of environment, that community which is there for us at each stage of life from birth to death - sustaining and nourishing us; helping us to face things as they are; and helping us to find meaning in serving God’s loving purposes in our world. And, I think that the church community is uniquely suited to such a ministry with older adults. And, certainly a progressive church like Christ Congregational Church is fertile ground for this.

This is an exciting opportunity for CCC to develop a more comprehensive model of ministry with older adults - a model that others might learn from. It’s another way of taking care of ourselves as a people, looking out for each other, learning from each other and knowing more fully the experience of being held in and growing in God’s love. Amen.

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